There comes a time in your late 20’s when you realise you’re getting older. This epiphany struck me last week while at a beach/foam party on Thailand’s infamous Ko Phangan Island.
Reminiscing about beach parties gone by, I was looking forward to some semi-debauched behavior; while sipping the mandatory, yet lethal, Red Bull and vodka buckets as the sun came up. However, after shortly arriving at the party, I realised something had changed – and that something was me. Unlike the rest of the inebriated crowd, I was no longer 19.
I felt like I was about five (or to be exact, ten) years too late for the party, and no amount of vodka or Rihanna on repeat could pull me out of my I’m-too-old for this trance. This feeling was heightened by the bewildered expressions of the tanned, fresh-faced darlings when discovering my age.
However, after a blonde six-foot boy claiming to be a staggering 20 and an Abercrombie and Fitch model, introduced himself – my opinion swayed. I decided to apply that age-old adage ‘when in Rome’ or as in my case, Ko Phangan – after all, I have visited the London Abercrombie and Fitch store and had been mesmerized by these topless models.
So, I told myself what any single girl would…..I’m in paradise, dancing on a beautiful beach with a model to the soundtrack of the waves, and well, Rihanna. Get over it. Did it matter that he was continually pouting and wearing a red cowboy hat saying ‘offers free sex’? At that moment, I decided it didn’t.
After some small talk, Mr Offers-Free-Sex, pulled me into the foam party and led me to the back of the bubbled area until we were both drenched from head to toe (bearing in mind being five-foot this took a lot less time for me). We started to dance and as we got closer, I was flooded with both first kiss excitement, and well, foam.
I then looked into his eyes – and a completely vacant expression stared right back at me. Seemingly oblivious to my presence, he continued to pout and began to erotically rub his chest and stare at the star sprinkled sky, before declaring ‘oh man, I’m so fucked on magic mushrooms right now’.
It was at this point I decided I was well past the seduction techniques, or lack thereof, anyone born in the 1990’s. So I left him and his red hat bopping in the foam, as my friend and I headed home – leaving a trail of bubbles, and our early 20’s behind us.