Archive | March, 2011

Princess Sequoia’s Tale of Younger Cubs or ‘When Short-Term Gain turns to Long-Term Pain’

31 Mar

This is potentially an absolute MINEFIELD – beware! OR it can be an enjoyable interlude where there are no expectations, there’s just lots of mindless..er…fun.

What you MUSTN’T be if you embark on an ongoing scenario with someone half your age, is emotional. This is strictly forbidden. Most men are bad enough when it comes to reliability, being thoughtful etc, so it’s logical that boys are a hundred times worse and a hundred times more immature.

If you’re thick-skinned, hard hearted, couldn’t give a damn….fine. If you’re a predatory cougar covered in gold and a tango tan, hunting down innocent young boys to chain up and keep as sex slaves you’re not the ones I’m worried about

If you’ve always been a cauldron of seething emotions and you want to go the ‘half your age’ route, take my advice – keep it short and sweet and move swiftly on to the next one. YOU KNOW YOU ARE EMOTIONAL. The longer it goes on, the more attached you are going to get. Doesn’t matter if you knew you were only going into it for a casual distraction, nothing serious, blah blah blah – IT NEVER TURNS OUT THAT WAY.

When he’s with you for those few hours he’s a dream, (is he really though?) but when you’re out of his sight – no texts, no calls, no attention full stop. It’ll wear you down eventually, trust me. He’s like a puppy with a colourful ball and you’re the ball – as soon as you’re out of his sight, he loses interest, it’s that simple.

Before you know it, it’s been a year and you’re getting fed up with being a casual booty call and not even getting one text a fortnight – you know it can never be more but now you think you’re in love and it’s TOO DAMN LATE.

Trust Sequoia on this one, and mark my words……

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Princess Ruby ponders: is texting a disqualification round for dating?

28 Mar

A tale of a twenty-something princess called Ruby

Last year, I had two interviews for a job I really wanted.  The position was for a more senior position and for a high rolling company. Given that it took my flatmate an hour to help me find something from my wardrobe that wasn’t too short, too tight or damaged – it’s a safe assumption that I’m not a corporate kind-of-gal.

So after the first interview, it came as a great surprise to hear that the interviewer thought I’d be perfect for the team, stating something about ‘chemistry.’

Blushing with pride, I was confident about the second interview. However, something changed. My charms failed. The interviewer did not feel the same way about me the second time round and subsequently I did not get the job. Feeling rejected and deflated, I wanted to ask, ‘what changed’?

I have found texting a potential date similar to going for a job interview, except the interview process can last weeks, and you can generally ditch the suit for your pyjamas and Ugg boots.

The art of texting

Stage 1 of the interview – you’re sailing through

Flirty, carefully designed snippets of information are then exchanged over days or weeks like foreplay. With every beep of your phone, you gain an extra spring in your step. You begin to smile at stone-faced commuters, oblivious to their suspicious reactions. And even the most mundane activities are more enjoyable – as you plan your next witty response and first-date-outfit in your head.

Stage 2 of the interview – you start to stumble

The flirting has now continued for weeks, attempts by both sides to meet up have been made, however for some reason, the date seems to be getting delayed. Mini-breaks, birthdays or the World Cup are getting in the way.

Stage 3 of the interview – it’s slipping through your fingers

Your phone begins to experience some form of malfunction – because it’s not like him to ignore a text from you. You scan your sent messages and despite its unwanted presence in the sent folder, you decide something is clearly wrong. You can’t receive messages. That must be it. However you then receive one from your mum, and then Orange to say they haven’t received your recent phone bill payment.

Feedback – you didn’t get the date

After a few weeks, and many consoling words from your girlfriends, defeat is accepted, you will not hear from him again. Ever. So this raises the question…. when the text-flirting continues, but the date never happens, is texting a disqualification round for dating? And if so, are your texting skills up to scratch?